Fear is a Thief

Fear is a thief.

And I know that’s something that sounds so painstakingly obvious that you might wonder why I’d bother writing about it at all.  But I feel like recently I’ve been on a journey of discovering just how powerful fear is, and just what it robs from us when we let it take control of our lives. And I figured, for anyone out there that’s possibly walking a similar journey, I’d share some of my recent revelations as an encouragement.

Fear is a nasty bugger. He creeps in right when you’re at your lowest point and whispers all sorts of really convincing “what ifs” in your ear. I’m very familiar with fear’s voice and it’s been a battle of mine to not allow fear to control my life.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve been in a season where everything has stopped. My life seems to have come to a halting standstill and all of the things that I would have turned to in attempts to fill my life with some sort of a routine and normalcy have been taken away. There’s nothing like an vast empty canvas to encourage whatever’s inside you to come up and dump itself out in an impressive display of varied colour schemes.

For me, I found two main things came up: fear and creativity.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned recently, it’s that fear and creativity don’t mix.

Creativity would rise up within me when I was confident: confident in my identity, and confident in the fact that God had me in his hands. I would write, photograph, sing, and play my guitar; I’d come up with semi-ridiculous projects that didn’t even make a lot of sense but were fun and enjoyable. I’d even draw when the inspiration hit. And it enriched my life so much. There’s something so nice about being able to express and creative. I find it to be incredibly therapeutic and life giving.

But as soon as I’d start to doubt myself, or doubt the plan I knew God had for my life, I’d find that creativity start to shrink. I lost inspiration. I lost my motivation. And as fear entered my life, creativity was the last thing on my mind. When I was fearful, I’d grab control and you can’t successfully be creative when you’re scared of being out of control. Because creativity in its very nature demands risk, especially when throw out the guidebook and detailed instructions and actually let yourself create out of your soul and your spirit.

And as I’ve thought about this more and more, and prayed about this, there are a couple of things I’ve realized.

1. God is love. There is no fear in love (1 John 4:18), therefore we can conclude that there is no fear in God. God is also the most magnificent artist and creator of all time. If there's no fear in love, and God is love, and there's no fear in God, we can conclude that there's no fear in creativity either. Creativity is one of God's many attributes and something he gives to us. When we’re afraid and live in fear, this creativity is squashed.

2. Fear and creativity are opposite responses to the “what if?” question that will always be present in our lives. The truth is, there will always be a level of uncertainty in our lives. It’s our choice how we respond to it. When we’re secure in our identity and we ultimately trust God to take care of us, the “what if?” question isn’t scary. In fact, it can actually spur us to be excited and inspired by the “what if?” question, prompting creativity.

This is just one explain of the ways I’ve seen fear steal in my life. I don't think God ever intended for us to live fearfully, because when we live fearfully, it squashes so many of the gifts God gave us to enjoy. And I know that that seems fairly clear, but I'm beginning to really, truly realize it in my own life, just how obvious it is that God doesn't want us to live in fear. 

When I’m fearful, everything gets put of perspective.

The time that God gives me to relax and grow becomes torturous because I don’t know if it’s ever going to end, and what will happen when it does.

Relationships God puts in my life to bless me become unpleasant and tiresome as I look for rejection in people’s actions and feel more and more like a burden.

Anything that is out of my control is bad.

Anytime when I am unsure of the future is bad.

And I become more fearful as I realize that I am so incapable of having the amount of control I desire.

But!

When I trust God’s goodness, his knowledge, his kindness, his plan for my life, and his ultimate love for me, I’m okay with that. I’m okay with not having control, because I know that He is in control.

I’m okay with not knowing what’s going to happen, because I know that He does, and He’ll tell me when I need to know.

I’m okay with not understanding why I should do what God’s asking me to do something, because I know that He sees the bigger picture.

I’m okay with letting him write my story. In fact, I’m actually getting to the place where I prefer it. He’s a pretty good author.

Anything that is out of my control is in His.

Anytime when I am unsure of the future is an opportunity to trust in his plan and be excited for the endless possibilities.

Creativity, relationships, time, the future, my life, they’re all gifts that God has blessed me with. And as I grow to trust God more in my life, I’m realizing just how unnecessary fear is in my life. I don’t need to be afraid. And that is an incredibly freeing revelation. 

God created me to be bold. He created me to be free.

Fear keeps me in a trap of control. Trust frees me to be out of control in the best way possible. Trust allows me to be fully me in the fullness of God's grace and love.